Lazy Sunday Afternoon
by Irishfae
Summary: Duo gets bored, Duo plays video games. Silly Oneshot.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Wing. I do not make money from this. I just have fun with them.

**Warnings**: Crude language and mention of one of the most vile things on the internet.  
_Things in Italics are spoken out loud. _

**Lazy Sunday Afternoon**

It is Sunday. I hate Sundays. Why? Because there isn't anything to do on Sundays. You really can't go anywhere more than 2 hours away because you have work in the morning and you can't party and get pissed for the very same reason. Thusly, I am stuck here, in a big house, with nothing to do. If I didn't love my hair so much I would be pulling it out from the incredible boredom I am feeling right now.

So here I am at 1300, still in bed, lying on my back, staring at the ceiling and playing with my braid. At least that is something right? Yeah, I know. Not really.

Ok, step one: Set mood for getting out of bed. This requires me to move some, luckily it only means I have to roll onto my stomach so I can reach the remote for the stereo system. I don't remember what CDs are in there. I'm just hoping that Heero didn't swap out all of my good music for his relaxing mood music. That shite make me want to puke. I don't know how he stands it. Or maybe he doesn't but puts it on just because he knows that it annoys the ever living hell out of me and he just wants to get a rise out of me.

After fumbling with the remote for a moment I manage to hit play causing the system to come to life. I literally fall out of bed as some crazy, loud, obnoxious music blasts at full volume. Gotta be Heero's, it sucks. Grumbling, I turn the crap off, but I am effectively up. That's a good thing right? Something akin to the sound of laughing can be heard down the hall. Oh, he is so dead. He should know better then to mess with Shinigami's music. Standing up and stretching I contemplate what sort of nasty punishment I should inflict on Heero. He will go course use the excuse that it is his player too. Meh, sometimes combined accounts have their down side.

While scratching my bare stomach vigorously, the coffee craving hits. Caffeine! Need caffeine now. Ok get coffee and maybe practice that stupid game Quatre wants me to play so we can face off and see who is better at rolling up junk. Shite, I don't even know if the PS2 is hooked up. For some reason I think Heero put it somewhere so he could hook up the Xbox to blast alien scum. Meh. Fuck it. Coffee first, find Playstation second.

The coffee pot sits on the kitchen counter, the little red light telling me that it is on. Either Heero really loves me and just made a pot, or he really hates me and that is from when he got up at eight. Fuck. I guess I'll take the chance that it isn't rocket fuel and that he loves me enough to not do that to me.

I grab my big mug. Yeah living on the edge, that's me. Sugar, creamer, a little prayer to the coffee gods and I pour the dark pungent liquid into my mug. Steam rises and I do something smart for once. I don't take a swig of it. I'd rather not burn the skin off of my tongue. Did that two nights ago on pizza cheese. So not fun.

Don't know where Heero is. Could have sworn I heard him laughing at me. Eh, he's up to something. Then I think about that. He's always up to something. I've been a bad influence on him, having thoroughly corrupted him over the last five years. I'm so proud of myself. Well proud of myself only when I am not the brunt of my own damn corruption of my already corrupt boyfriend.

The Playstation 2 appears to be connected to the TV, the case for Final Fantasy VII: The Dirge of Cerberus sits on top of it. I chuckle. Heero can't sit through a normal RPG, but make it a shooting game and he's capable of being entertained for hours. The stupid game Quatre wants me to play is on the coffee table. I swap my coffee for the case and squat down in front of the tv, deftly switching out Heero's game for Quatre's. Making sure the console and the tv are both on and ready to go I return to the couch and grab the controller off the coffee table.

As the game boots up I risk taking a swig of coffee. Damn that is the most vile coffee I've ever had and that is saying a lot. _"Fuck Heero, what the hell is wrong with Japanese people?!"_ I shout after swallowing the disgusting coffee. So he doesn't love me enough to make new coffee, in fact, I think he's trying to poison me.

Then my attention is taken away from the coffee and I watch the screen, but I think he is snickering from somewhere down the hall. The game: We love Katamari. The mission: learn how to play and beat Quatre next time he comes over. If I remember correctly Trowa seemed very happy to get the game out of his house. Said something about it being nice to get his boyfriend back. Now Quatre has never been one to play video games. Ever! So curiosity gets the better of me and I follow the directions to get the game started.

My jaw drops and I stare at the screen horrified. I haven't even actually started playing. _"Seriously Heero, what the hell is wrong with Japanese people?"_ I watch the prelude, with the King of the Universe, who has got to be the queerest character in a video game, lecturing the Prince about something akin to accidentally destroy something important. I stopped paying attention when the King showed up. I don't know if I can play this game.

Tutorial. The tutorial should be safe. Shouldn't it? Obviously, I was wrong. This game is so fucked up, but for some reason I can't stop playing. After finishing the tutorial I absently grab my mug of coffee and take a sip. Oh god that is horrible. _"Ok are you trying to poison me? Because you don't get the life insurance money if you poison me."_ This time he just opens up and laughs. Asshole. I still can't get a bearing on where he is. Stupid acoustics in the house. I swear he chose this place for this exact reason. He can pull this Phantom of the Opera shite on me. Yeah, I just compared my boyfriend to the Phantom of the Opera. Laugh all ya want, but Heero Yuy is a Broadway fan-boy.

Back to playing this stupid game and drinking my poisoned coffee. I must have been playing this game for like an hour and I get to the roll the sumo dude up level. Really this has just breached the utterly ridiculous. _"Heero, love. Can you come here for a moment."_

"_I've been here for a half and hour already."_ Heero's dressed rather like I am. Boxers and running socks. We don't get dressed on Sunday's unless we have visitors and by visitors we don't include, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei or Zechs. They don't count and can deal with us walking around practically naked in our own damn house.

I pause the game and glare at him. _"Please answer my question."_

He grins. "_Which question Duo?"_

"_The one about What is wrong with Japanese people?"_ I prepare for his rebuttal.

"_Oh and American's aren't sick fucks either?"_ He sits down next to me.

"_I didn't say that."_ Hum how to argue this.

"_Love. I have four words for you and then you try to tell me that Japanese people are more fucked up than Americans (1). Two Girls One Cup."_ He smirks and my face changes from almost triumph to absolute disgust.

"_I think I'm going to be sick."_ I dry heave. _"We are so not having sex for the next week."_

"_I win."_ He states simply a smug look on his gorgeous face and walks away.

"_God that is disgusting Heero. Fuck! Gah!" _I un-pause Katamari and quickly retreat into my safe place deciding that Katamari is much less fucked up than the vileness that Heero dared to mention.

**Heero's POV**

"Hey Quatre, just wanted to let you know it worked perfectly. He beat it in seven hours."

"Seven hours?" Quatre swears a few times in Arabic and I start laughing. I hear Trowa in the background telling Quatre to come back to bed.

"Quatre, were you asleep?"

There is a pause. "Ah, not exactly. No." Another pause. "Gotta go Heero. Bye."

I hang up quickly and an amused snort escapes. The shower is running and I know that Duo has opted for the physical cleaning to help scrub his mind of the image I gave him earlier. I think I'll go help. I'm not exactly keen on being abstinent for a week.

**Author's Foot Note**: I am warning you, DO NOT go looking for Two Girls One Cup. It really exists and is South American in original. It is foul and disgusting. This was originally Tub Girl but my huband pointed out that it didn't help my point. So I changed it. meh.


End file.
